All rights reserved This easy to manage web site was designed by Jenn McGroary, To download Heart Breath Meditation mp3 and for monthly tips to release, relax, and tap into your brilliance --. Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. When we take responsibility for our actions, we are free to act. Fewer symptoms of depression. Involve children in the problem-solving process . We can have peace if we let go of wanting to change the past and wanting to control the future. #2. Do you really believe youre in charge and that your worry can change anything? Closing the door, taking a step back, shaking your head, or signaling with your hands can be less threatening ways of letting others know what you will and won't accept from them. They want to do what they want when they want with who they want and when they want it. With love, Sandra. It makes us tense, lacking in joy, and overcommitted, because we likely feel we need to fix everything as well. Clarity will come. <br/> Please check with your country's customs office to determine what . Resilience: one of the best ways to avoid tying yourself to a particular expectation is to build an unshakeable, resilient self. Procrastination: Whats it really about? Getting Unstuck, When You Dont Know Where To Start. The main learnings and action items from the delegation poker and delegation board exercise carried out with the scrum masters are as listed below. Other people's emotions are their reaction to their OWN beliefs (not what we did or said). You might think this is only a problem for people with very low self-esteem. Melody Beattie's definition is that "A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.". Letting Go by Timothy W. Firnstahl From the Magazine (September 1986) If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times: to overcome the stresses and strains of a fast-growing organization,. No matter how much we acquiesce or accommodate, sometimes people will simply not be happy. Whether our life is "wonderful" or "difficult" is always up to us. We may even prevent them from seeking professional help, i.e., anxiety counseling or addictions therapy, because they have come to rely on us. 1018 N. Bethlehem Pike, Suite 201 A, Lower Gwynedd, PA 19002 | 720 S. Colorado Blvd, South Tower PH #1356, Glendale, CO 80246, Client Portal | MAP Info +1-267-477-3265. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim. Letting Go and Letting God Phase 3. Simultaneously we are freed of our fear of losing control, of a drive to be perfect, of getting the credit for something. Recall any times you took responsibility for what yourereallynot responsible for and consider how it impacted you. 5) Get to Know Yourself Better. Let go of your preconceived designs and open up your mind. 3. If you want to let go of the need for approval, start to fill your life with things that are important to you. Go. When we finally realize that the other person is in charge of their own feelings and responses to situations, a weight is lifted off our shoulders. * Note - Links to programs and products may be affiliate links, which means a company or publisher provides a commission to me (paid by them, at NO COST to you) if you decide to purchase. Do you have difficulty setting boundaries around your time and energy? As an Amazon Associate, and an affiliate representing some other companies such as Sounds True, as well as a few coaches and psychologists, I provide links to products and programs that may be helpful to creative people. . Other people's feelings, behavior, and problems Decide which responsibilities you'd like to let go. Address : Thank you@. How To Thrive as an Empath - Resources by Michael Smith, How to Protect and Use Your Energy as a Highly Sensitive, Is the culture becoming more accepting of sensitive people, How to Deal With Energy Vampires by Christiane Northrup. Consider the glass of water you drink first thing in the morning. Someone had to make the pipes, didnt they? How much time did it waste away? Votes: 4. Hey [name], I am letting you go, but it's not because I don't love you. It may feel lighter, it may feel strange, because you've been carrying it for so long. Take Control: How Letting Go Helps You. Learn to let go. Everything is constantly evolving and changing in this intricate dance of interconnectedness, relationship, and mutual influence. We control fear when we let it go. Decide which responsibilities you'd like to let go. You dont need to feel guilty about a single one. How Can Brain Training Help Highly Sensitive People Thrive? The changes youre making to overcome toxic guilt can make you feel self-critical, e.g. Furthermore, saying no may empower the other person to take responsibility for their own choices, or allow someone else to use their gifts to fill a role or need instead. It's a process of letting go of anything that isn't youtoxic relationships, limiting beliefs, and obstacles that prevent you from living your dream. Again, supporting others is valuable, but there must be a balance. When the. Taking responsibility for ourselves includes assuming our true responsibilities to others. Contact me to learn more about using EFT. Thats not to say theyre not responsible for their actions or shouldnt be held accountable. Taking responsibility for Others' Problems - How often do you step into the role of "the only one" who can solve the problems of the family, . 1. With this newfound time, I was able to. "This can be both confusing and overstimulating because we are unable to distinguish whether we're operating from our own center or someone else's. I help deep thinking, heart-centered people find greater ease emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Less Stress. When we act as if we are responsible, this leads to anxiety and even bitterness and resentment. This is not our fault. If the relationship is actually damaging to you, it definitely is one of the reasons to let go of people. Perhaps you are asked to serve on a committee at work or church; your time is limited but you do not want to disappoint someone, so you say yes. No matter how many balls we're juggling, we feel guilty when someone else drops one. Dont forget to sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heartfilled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self. One of the reasons we have so much trouble with sharing responsibilities is that we are thinking about the short term. Youll naturally feel greater altruism, kindness, and compassion too. Its impossible for you to be responsible for everything because of interdependence. Self-learning, introspection, and insight suggest that half the battle is won. You feel its your fault when other people feel bad. Letting go gets mixed up in our minds with a person wanting to die, although these are really separate situations. If It Is Damaging To You. What is our rush? We offer online counseling in Pennsylvania, online counseling in Colorado and. Pause for a moment and look back at the last week. In short, we are people-pleasing. Help letting go after a break up - letting go of past loves. Forgiveness can lead to: Healthier relationships. She and her husband co-authored the best-selling books: Consecrated Conversations: 30 Devotions for Couples and Learning to Speak Life: Fruit of the Spirit Family Bible Study Guide. Wouldnt it be wonderful to live from love, compassion, and ease instead of beating yourself up every day? I know this one well. Votes: 2. Top Letting Go Of Control Quotes. Dear [name], I'm glad you're happy and healthy in your new life. Letting go primarily relies on your ability to resist acting on your initial reaction and gut instinct. Here are the 69 Letting go quotes to Move Forward and Live life to the fullest. For example consider letting go of: Trying to fix someone's mood. It may be particularly hard to decline an invitation from a loved one, or properly manage our time with a needy friend or family member. To others, letting go is their last resort when they feel that they have been agonizingly beaten by what they thought of as the irreversible hand of fate. Sit down with your children during a family meeting or a more informal session. 1. What beliefs feed that worry? 4 Signs of Over-Responsibility Sign #1: Guilt Guilt is the appropriate emotion to experience when we've deliberately or accidentally caused harm. Whether you are desiring to grow in boundary-setting in relationships with your spouse, children, parents, or co-workers, our team of trained therapists would love to work with you. It is more loving to give someone the best version of yourself rather than spreading yourself so thin that you arent as helpful as you could be. We inhibit them from learning from their own mistakes through trial and error. Weve all been there: A friend calls you right in the middle of a task and instead of ignoring the call or telling her youll call back later, you answer, and a few minutes turns into an hour or more. The belief that you're responsible for everything and everybody in your life. We are not responsible for other peoples emotions. Request an appointment today! Curious? 2. Letting go of your judgements Holding on judgements will only bring you more disappointment. I took responsibility for everyone and everything for the better part of my lifeto my own detriment. Depression is one response to finding life too painful in some way. If people-pleasing has led to low self-esteem, depression, or anxiety, the counselors at Lime Tree Counseling can help you learn new ways of thinking and behaving that will maximize your mental and emotional health. Don't check out. The next step will present itself. Without such mindful grief, neither past nor person can be laid to . When you embrace interdependence, youll be able to live from a place of peace and acceptance. Yes I know, this isn't a war. When we finally realize that the other person is in charge of their own feelings and responses to situations, a weight is lifted off our shoulders. The belief that you're responsible for everything and everybody in your life. But we forget interdependence or weve never heard of it to begin with. Other people's feelings, behavior, and problems Decide which responsibilities you'd like to let go. Remember these three words: Let. Letting go for leaders As a leader in the workplace, allowing others to take responsibility is a way of letting go so that they may become more fully empowered and engaged. Other people's feelings, behavior, and problems. It can feel terrifying to simply let things happen, particularly when the stakes are highwhen you care about something so deeply that it feels like a piece of you. You find it hard to say no and as a result you struggle to prioritise your own health and wellbeing. We do not have to allow their destructive beliefs to control our feelings, our behaviors, our life, or us. This helps support my efforts in creating the free content you read here and on my other sites, plus helps pay for costs such as website hosting. Use that time to recompose yourself and allow yourself to recognize which emotions are yours and which ones aren't. Remember that you are not responsible for fixing the brokenness in other people, even if you sense their deep internal struggle or emotional conflict. Get clear about responsibilities that are not truly yours. He stayed in his True Self where no one can rob or harm him. When children are involved in solutions they have ownership and motivation to follow the plans they have helped create. You feel mortified when something goes wrong at work, even when its a team effort. Lime Tree Counseling, LLC When you fall prey to the belief that youre responsible for everyone and everything, youre not respecting interdependence and the fluid, ever-changing nature of our world. Someone had to dig the trenches for the pipes, didnt they? They use it as a justification for not addressing an important issue. The belief that you're responsible for everything and everybody in your life. In the process of forgiveness, you can only control your own actions and decisions. So, you cannot be responsible for everyone and everything. One looming item was a behemoth of an old, long since broken refrigerator. Although we think we are giving an opinion on something or . In short, our existence. Turn them over to a higher power. Christopher shared that many people come to the workshop to help others with responsibility, and usually leave realizing they first need to improve their own understanding and practice of responsibility. There was still a lot to clear out of the house, especially in the basement. Learning how to dodge the curve balls, how to take responsibility for my actions and emotions, makes life easier. I will always cherish what we share, and I hope that one day we can find happiness and fulfillment on our paths. Stop beating yourself up for everything that goes wrong. When we give up people-pleasing, we have more freedom to focus on our own goals and interests. Your yes and your time matter! Reflect on this profound idea often, until it becomes a part of your being. Remember, boundaries are a loving action. Enjoy selected articles and programs in the Creative Mind Newsletter. Thats not to say we shouldnt feel good when things go well. Clinging to shame by internalizing guilt and resentment for the pain you might have caused will not help you move forward. When I hang onto tight control, When I close off my heart and my spirit, I cannot receive your blessings for me. You are not alone. Stephen Richards. Step 12: Give Love. Anything that happens occurs as a result of many interlocking causes and conditions, over which you only have partial control. Does this belief govern your life and well-being as well? on WordPress. Trying to make or keep people happy is a stressful endeavor. 2. Modern culture encourages us to think that we are free, independent agents. For example consider letting go of: Trying to fix someone's mood. 1. Lower blood pressure. Others Learn to Manage their Own Problems. <p>Cover has some rubbing and edgewear. Throughout our lives, the majority of the time that we are talking to others we are actually talking about ourselves. ), but when we say yes when we want to say no, that is a red flag that we are motivated more by guilt, obligation, or anxiety than a true desire to help. A stronger immune system. Improved mental health. Here's a process you can work through to loosen the grip of the "letting go" situation: Find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed. You feel to blame if your child goes off in a bad way. Of course, any kind of thought can arise in the mind, especially since youve been riding the same thought-trains for a long time. Bren Brown defines authenticity as: "The daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are.". Think bigger picture. "The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.". By letting go of the things that have been in your life with a feeling of gratitude, you foster appreciation for, and a desire to take better care of, the things in your life. When we act as if we are responsible, this leads to anxiety and even bitterness and resentment. 2. Breathe and try sending yourself some compassion as you let go. But remember, it is not your job to make problems disappear; challenges are a normal part of life and help us to grow. Donate items of historical importance to area museums (including military museums) Donate to your local preservation society. Or look at a situation that caused you to worry or feel anxious for another person. People to stand in helpless vigil to our pain.Glennon Doyle. Angelina Jolie. Read On! 7 Tips for Letting Go, Avoiding Morning Hassles and Teaching Responsibility. When I look at how all of this unfolded, I like to say that God was showing off when I let go and let him make all of the needed arrangements. Let go of excessive and inappropriate feelings of responsibility toward parents and other family members. We are not responsible for other people's emotions. Sometimes they feel so dedicated to completing their own work that they . How Can You Create a Successful Business as a Highly Sensitive Person? Access codes, CD's, and other accessories may not be included. Its also an indicator of the way our moods can constantly be swinging up and down as externals change. How many people participated in bringing it to you? Improved heart health. Mindful grief means mourning and letting go of the past without expectation, fear, censure, blame, shame, control and so forth. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever." Melody Beattie author The Language of Letting Go book choices Votes: 2. Letting Go of Yesterday Shame can be challenging to shed if you are stuck in the past. If you find yourself taking better care of others than you do yourself, todays blog is for you. Just denying them usually won't make them go away. Get clear about responsibilities that are not truly yours. Letting go of dishonesty with ourselves and others is vital to our soul expansion . Refocus on your own needs, desires, and passions. Fear is an emotion you control, not the other way around. All items ship Mon-Fri </p> <br/> <br/> <p>International Buyers - Please Note: <br/> Import duties, taxes, and charges are not included in the item price or shipping cost. What if I appear selfish? 5 Ajahn Chah Quotes That Can Help You Find InnerPeace, 7 Little Ways to Improve Your Adulting Skills, Life Gets Better When You See It as a Dream, 3 Superpowers You Can Gain From Mindfulness. A great way to visualize tasks that a typical Scrum Master does. Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - Language of Letting Go - June 10 - Responsibility - You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go Responsibility Self care means taking responsibility for ourselves. 4 minutes. Taking on too much. Have trust. Laozi. Facing consequences head on, sooner rather than later is easier. Letting go doesn't mean forcing yourself to get over it or making yourself forget what happened. Accomplish small tasks. 720 S. Colorado Blvd Every time you feel yourself returning to negativity, recite those 3-5 things in your mind. For any occurrence, there are far more variables in play than you alone. Give yourself at least 30 minutes (an hour would be better) as you won't want to break the flow of the process. This concept is a little like some of the guidance given in Sun Tzu's, "The Art of War". 2010 - 2021 Sandra Pawula. You depend on all sorts of causes and conditions, just like a tree depends on a seed, water, and nutrients to grow. Letting go in this moment, I receive your loving presence around me and within me. The solution is simple though it might not be easy:Stop blaming yourself, stop blaming others. Some of us are natural-born fixers, we dont like to see the ones we love experience negative emotions. Carlie and her husband co-founded Marriage Legacy University and have helped tens of thousands of couples around the world grow closer to God and each other. Responsibility is a companion of freedom. The robber was emotional. What if I am perceived as not a team player? Just remember that many different factors came into play for that moment to arise, even the fact that your parents acted on their affinity for one another and gave you your life. You couldnt survive a day if it werent for the kindness of others. It allows us the ability to have closure within our lives about past issues. If we are used to saying yes all the time, saying no may feel uncomfortable at first. If I don't do X, he might kill himself. Start doing some volunteer work or join an . You can recognize it, and you can offer advice . The Paradox of Leadership: Let go of control but keep responsibility. Today, I will begin the process of setting myself free from any self-defeating beliefs my parents passed on to me. There may now be a flurry of giving more of those boulders/rocks/bricks back, you may feel that letting go of that one weight is enough for now. Letting go of over-responsibility will bring relief, acceptance and peace into your life. Here are the three different types of letting go we talked about: 1) Let go of story. Trust. Here are several options to get you started: Ask if anyone else in the family wants the item (s); or, if the original owner is still alive, ask them if they would like the item returned to them. If your first response to not being able to let go of a painful situation is to criticize yourself, it's time to show yourself some kindness and compassion. I see it as a responsibility of mine to teach others. Letting go of responsibility is not something that comes natural for me. And understanding that the reactions of others is driven by their unmet needs and fears, makes it a little easier to show empathy. Imagine you stood in front of a flower all day, trying all kinds of fertilizer to push it to grow faster. Instead, commit to being fully responsible for yourselffor your own thoughts, words, and actions. It's never too late to apologize to another and rebuild a lost connection because of our bad behavior . You feel ashamed or fearful when you make a mistake. Without your knowledge, the relationship might be damaging to you. What we need are patient, loving witnesses. The solution is simple though it might not be easy: Stop blaming yourself, stop blaming others. People to sit quietly and hold space for us. Barry Larkin. Always make assessments. But in over-responsibility, we feel guilty when things out of our control go wrong. Do your best to align yourself with a loving, giving vibration. There are various reasons a person may want to die, reasons quite separate from those for letting go. I'm Sandra Pawula - writer, mindfulness teacher and advocate of ease. The cashier recognized that the robber's emotion-wrapped words weren't true. The problem is that when I take over and refuse to let others in the organization leadeven at the risk that they will not complete it on my time schedule or the way I might have done it: I keep myself from doing other things; Just know you can choose whether to give it power or let it go. Whether you are desiring to grow in boundary-setting in relationships with your spouse, children, parents, or co-workers, our team of trained therapists would love to work with you. These charges are the buyer's responsibility. Instead, letting go means to notice them, but don't allow them to make a home in your mind. Less anxiety, stress and hostility. I help deep thinking, heart-centered spirits find greater ease emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The truth is, we cannot control other peoples thoughts, attitudes, or behaviors; we are only in charge of our own. Im not talking about bottled water either, just the water that flows through the pipes into your house or apartment. Sometimes when we are developing new patterns of behavior, we need professional wisdom and support. Freeing yourself from pressure. When you take responsibility for everyone and everything, wittingly or unwittingly, you can throw yourself into a cycle of anxiety, stress, and sometimes depression as well. But when we have been programmed from an early . You feel youre responsible for your parents marital conflicts. Let me start by saying that helping others is a good thing (we all need help sometimes! Other Concerns. 1018 N. Bethlehem Pike, Suite 201 A, Lower Gwynedd, PA 19002, Address : Some of these traits include: 1. I think we should all have a responsibility not to affect other people in a negative way. What if I get overlooked for a position/promotion? What if this opportunity never comes my way again? But the truth is we cant control everything. Let go of fixed plans and concepts, and the world will govern itself. Let Go of Taking Responsibility for Others By Douglas Eby Coach Jenna Avery noted in an article: "Sensitives are often unknowingly affected by the energy, emotions, and desires of others. May you be happy, well, and safe always. Taking on too much. More Margin in Our Lives for What Matters Most to Us. But ironically, trying to control things can actually limit their potential. I am letting you go because I know this is the best for us. When something goes wrong, I have become much more aware of how I react. 1. In today's society, people are looking for letting go of quotes in every aspect of their lives. What stories about yourself are keeping you wound up? On Being a Highly Sensitive Person a Trait With Strong Gifts and Challenges. We are free to act when we know that we can accept the consequences. Carlie Kercheval is a happily married momma of three. When we learn to let go, we can be free of the sources of our pain and suffering that are holding us back. Elliot Kay. Your email address will not be published. The decisions you make today may be very different than the ones you made a decade ago due to the influence of your life experiences since then. Notice how your body feels. In fact, for many parents, the reality of letting go is so painful, they simply refuse to do it, and fail to encourage their children out of the nest, literally or figuratively. By taking responsibility for meeting your own needs and pursuing your own passions, you will find yourself much less likely to attempt to control others. But almost all of us take responsibility for more than our part, though it may appear on a subtle or subconscious level: Thats a sign that we think we alone are responsible. Think about it: if we make ourselves constantly available and do for others what they can absolutely do for themselves, they do not have the chance to figure out solutions on their own. In the short term it almost always makes more sense for us to do it. Help me to let go when I am feeling overwhelmed, so that I may receive your peace. Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious! Just like you, others are subject to a complex set of causes and conditions so nothing is entirely their fault. Forgiving ourselves and others is a sign of healing. Taking on too much. Try writing down 3-5 things that make you feel love at the start of your day, and hold those in your heart. Almost there! Taking responsibility for our own lives. How to let go of over-responsibility: When in doubt, return home to yourself. Plus, youll receive access to the Always Well Within Library of free Self-Discovery Resources. multiple articles with quotes by Julie Bjelland, How You Can Thrive More As A Highly Sensitive Person, How to Relieve Stress and Anxiety When Youre a Highly Sensitive Person. Letting go of shame does not mean letting go of responsibilityyou should still hold yourself accountable. Stop trying to control. Then we suffer if we cant. Open-mindedness: if you can remain open to the many possibilities of life instead of fixating on a single future, you will minimize any feelings of disappointment and resentment. An opportunity to understand what scrum masters feel about letting go of key decisions they have to make. Use compassion to tame your inner critic and remind yourself that its okay to have these emotions. Letting Go of Responsibility for Others "Insurgent" Movie Commentary David Hoffmeister ACIM - YouTube Enjoy this pre-movie commentary of one of the best spiritual movies for letting go of. Many of us are exhausted because we carry too many physical, mental, and emotional burdens that we are not meant to carry. Making sure we have time each day for the people and things that bring us joy is essential! In the fast-paced life that we lead, we often forget to take a moment to gauge what is important, what deserves our attention, and what requires to be overlooked. That's on them, not on you. We often hang on to things that are no longer serving us, such as unhealthy relationships. So becoming authentic is about letting go of who we think others want us to be, and beginning to operate from a deep place that represents our truest self. South Tower PH #1356 Letting go of blame allows us to be free, to take back our power and to avoid the trap of thinking that someone or something else has the ability to dictate our experience of life. As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people. People who are hurting dont need Avoiders, Protectors, or Fixers. Please check your inbox and confirm your subscription. If people-pleasing has led to low self-esteem, depression, or anxiety, the counselors at Lime Tree Counseling can help you learn new ways of thinking and behaving that will maximize your mental and emotional health. But the point is that we can take control of our team not by squeezing harder, but by letting go. I had trust and confidence in my co-chair, Jeannie Coyle, our planning team (Jake Jacobs, Mila Baker and Rob Jolles), and our administrator, Brenda Price. Sometimes, Focus on Things That Are Important. Stop and check if the relationship with your friend or partner is damaging you. Trying to manage another persons emotions or reactions, or attempting to shield them from potentially negative outcomes, is a losing battle. Take a walk, take a nap or otherwise shift your focus and let them go. Be kind to yourself. It allows you to take responsibility for every choice you make and every action you take (or don't take). My ability to do this boils down to these two simple factors: 1. Subscribe to Wild Arisings, twice monthly letters from my heart to help you search more deeply into your own life, make positive changes, and become all that you truly are. Let go of guilt. Whether you're home, at work, or driving, start noticing anytime your mind has a judgmental thought. Be patient with the process. . Likewise, every decision you make is influenced by your family or societal conditioning. Emotional responsibility includes being accountable for not only our actions and behaviors, but also our thoughts and our feelings. Just like you, others are subject to a complex set of causes and conditions so nothing is entirely their fault. "If you don't like how things are, change them. Your gut reaction will lead you to blame yourself for letting go "Why did I ever let anyone else do this?" - which typically manifests on the surface as anger toward or frustration with. Welcome to my island of sanity and serenity. Do you find yourself spending more time making sure the people around you are comfortable rather than investing in your own health, hobbies, or aspirations? Get clear about responsibilities that are not truly yours. Lester Levenson. Sit in a relaxed position in a chair or on the floor. When I first realized that I was taking on the negative emotions of my mother, I became extremely resentful and disgusted with her. The world will not stop spinning if you take a step back, I promise! Susan Jones hasn't slept well in months and has lost a lot of weight. I'm Sandra Pawula - writer, mindfulness teacher and advocate of ease. STEP 1: Take Responsibility for Your Feelings A major step in let go of guilt is taking responsibility for your feelings. Ali Hewson. How did it feel? For example, when difficulty arises in a relationship, it may trigger thoughts like: "I am not good enough," or "I don't have enough." What story can you let go of? For example, parents allow their kids to live at home far longer than is healthy for their development. Welcome to my island of sanity and serenity. If we are so wrapped up in someone elses life that we neglect our own, that is not healthy. Curious? The dictionary defines codependency as excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an . You cant be responsible for everything because you are not autonomous. You might also like to check out my Living with Ease courseor visit mySelf-Care Shop. Sometimes when we are developing new patterns of behavior, we need professional wisdom and support. Maybe at one time we were benefiting from a relationship, but often when people grow, they grow apart. Letting go of over-responsibility will bring relief, acceptance and peace into your life. The next time, we likely would do it better. How can I be feeling this way?. Those of us who cant say no often let our what ifs get in the way of our good judgment: What if the other person responds negatively to our boundary? 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